How you look and feel physically directly impacts your confidence.
Building a strong physical connection with yourself is essential for building your Grounded Confidence.
I’m going to share a story of my physical transformation to highlight the importance of this connection in this episode.
I firmly believe:
How you live affects how you look,
And
How you look affects how you feel.
If you want to change how you feel, start by changing how you live.
“Coco, your skin looks amazing. It’s glowing. What products do you use?”
I’ve been getting many compliments on my skin in recent years – a new experience for me. Because I never heard this type of praise when I was younger.
Spoiler Alert: It has nothing to do with any products.
When I was in my teens and twenties, I felt incredibly insecure about my skin.
My face was covered in acne. It looked like a pepperoni pizza.
I tried every product out there: Clean & clear. Clearasil & Proactive, you name it. Nothing made much difference. I blamed my raging hormones for that problem.
In my 30s, my skin condition improved slightly, but pimples still popped up like popcorn.
My skin looked dull, and big dark circles under my eyes.
Like many women, I trusted the promises of skincare advertisements, spending hundreds of dollars on brands like Chanel, Estee Lauder, and Lancome, hoping they would solve my problems, but nothing really helped.
Now, in my 40s, I use basic skincare products from the drugstore $10 or $20, and my skin looks more radiant than ever.
I realized that it isn’t about what I put on my face, but what I put into my body and mind.
How you live affects how you look, and how you look reflects how you live.
This is how I lived in my 30s.
I was living in New York City, the city that never sleeps, so I never slept.
I worked in a high-pressure job at a global company long working hours and long commutes. After that I would go out to have fun. Of course, that was the whole point of living in New York City, right?!
I prioritized everything else except sleep. I slept as little as possible five, six hours a day. That was far from what I needed.
I was feeling exhausted, but I had to stay awake and alert to perform a high-stress job.
So what helped me to stay awake and alert? Caffeine. I drank two to three cups of coffee every day, even though I don’t even like coffee.
Coffee wasn’t enough. I needed sugar and junk food to pick me up during the afternoon slump.
M&M was my best friend and Doritos was my second best friend, can you relate?
Though I enjoyed being active physically but being tired all the time, I didn’t have the energy to do more exercises as I would like to.
Another big killer was stress, the company I worked for six years.
I endured four restructurings and constant layoffs. People got fired left and right.
I was on the edge all the time. I had to work really hard just to go above and beyond to make everyone happy because I didn’t want to get fired.
At home, there was no peace either. I was constantly arguing with my partner.
The fact that I was exhausted and under so much stress from work made me very irritable. Small issues would quickly escalate into arguments.
During that period of time, I had nightmares almost every night.
Out of that, I thought it was normal, and now I know how abnormal it was.
Of course, my skin reflected all of these – constant breakouts, a dull complexion and dark circles around my eyes.
It didn’t matter what products I put on my face. I could have put gold on my face. My skin wouldn’t have glowed.
Because of how my skin looked, I didn’t like taking pictures and I piled on heavy makeups to cover up. I just felt uncomfortable in my own skin.
Now, in my 40s, I made major lifestyle changes and my skin reflects that transformation.
First and foremost, sleep.
Getting enough, quality sleep is now my number one priority. I sleep seven to eight hours every night. I would also take a 20 to 30 minute power nap after lunch.
For instance, last weekend I skipped a Halloween party because it was too late and I didn’t want to disrupt my sleep schedule.
You know what? When you get enough sleep. You don’t have cravings for coffee, sugar and junk food anymore. M&M and Doritos are no longer my best friends. Now my best friends are carrots, tomatoes and broccoli, and they’re delicious.
For exercise, I move my body daily. During the week, I go to the gym five times first thing in the morning and incorporating both cardio and resistance training.
If you’re a woman over 40 years old, I highly recommend strength training if you’re not doing it already it’s been a game changer for me.
I started it three years ago and now I feel so much stronger. It gives me more energy and vitality.
Strength training is one of the most important indicators for longevity. I’ll include some resources in the show notes if you’re interested in learning more about it, because I can talk about it for hours, but that’s a separate conversation.
On weekends, I take long walks by the beach, which is great exercise and calming for the mind to reduce stress.
Speaking of stress, I’ve removed toxic people, toxic relationships and toxic environments from my life.
Through all the work I’ve done on healing my triggers, emotional wounds and traumas, I’ve become more present, less reactive and more resilient.
Spending time in nature, especially my beach walks, helps keeping my stress in check.
Overall, I’ve reduced the stress in my life significantly.
What a difference.
And now I sleep like a baby every night.
With all these changes prioritizing sleeping, watching what I eat, exercising and reducing stress using basic, using basic drugstore skincare products is enough to keep my skin radiant.
Now I feel truly comfortable in my skin, literally and figuratively, and that’s part of the process of building Grounded Confidence.
For me, how you live affects how you look, and how you look affects how you feel.
When you live better, you look better.
When you look better, you feel better, and
When you feel better, you have more energy and vitality to pursue what truly matters to you.
So how you look is not just skin deep, it is a foundation for building Grounded Confidence and becoming unstoppable in achieving your goals.
I want to challenge you to think:
what is this one small change you can make this week to live better?
Just one small change and take action. Take this baby step to live better this week.
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
To learn more about how I help Successful yet Self-doubting women leaders build Grounded Confidence and become unstoppable in achieving their goals. Visit cocoduancoaching.com.
Until next time, remember to be kind to yourself!
Additional Resources:
Podcast episodes on Strength Training and Building Muscles for women:
Dr. Gabrielle Lyon: How to Exercise & Eat for Optimal Health & Longevity
Why Building Muscle is Key to Longevity | Dr. Gabrielle Lyon
Top podcast on health, sleep, and exercise in general: