Welcome back to Part 2 of our powerful two-part series on the cultural and parental expectations many Asian women leaders grew up with—and how these invisible pressures may be secretly causing you stress and holding you back.
I’m Coco Duan, a life and leadership coach, and in this episode, I continue the conversation we started in Episode 2 by unpacking four more common expectations that shape how we think, feel, and lead.
These cultural norms may have helped you become strong, driven, and successful—but they may also be the reason you feel guilt, fear, or like you’re never quite “enough.”
🌿 In this episode, we explore:
3️⃣ Emotional Restraint – The pressure to suppress your feelings and appear composed at all times
- I share my story of internalized depression in high school, and how this pattern led to emotional outbursts and relationship issues as an adult
- You’ll learn why emotional regulation—not suppression—is key to stress relief and personal growth
4️⃣ Conformity & Respect for Authority – The expectation to obey, avoid risk, and stay quiet
- I share a traumatic memory from childhood and how fear of authority held me back professionally
- You’ll hear how I learned to speak up and advocate for myself—and how you can too
5️⃣ Sacrifice & Selflessness – The belief that you must always prioritize others, especially family, over your own dreams
- A real client story reveals how this pressure causes guilt and burnout, even when family dynamics are working well
- I offer a reframe that reminds you: taking care of yourself is the most selfless thing you can do
6️⃣ Modesty & Humility – The rule to never boast or promote yourself, even when you’ve worked hard
- I talk about the difference between humility and underselling yourself
- Learn what grounded confidence really looks like—and how to own your strengths without arrogance
💡 Key insight:
These six expectations may have helped shape who you are—but they don’t have to define your future. You now have the power to pause, reflect, and decide what serves you.
📝 Quick Recap of the 6 Common Expectations Covered in Episodes 2 & 3:
- High academic achievement
- High criticism, low recognition
- Emotional restraint
- Conformity and respect for authority
- Sacrifice and selflessness
- Modesty and humility
✨ Coming up next:
In the next episode, I’ll introduce a simple yet powerful framework to help you reframe the limiting beliefs created by these expectations—so you can release the pressure, reclaim your voice, and begin building a more empowered and authentic version of yourself.
👉 Want to build your Grounded & Unshakable Confidence? I offer a free 45-minute clarity call to help you gain insight into where you are now, where you want to go, and what’s holding you back. If you’re ready to take action, email me at coco@nullcocoduancoaching.com.
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Until next time, remember: Be kind to yourself.